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~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx:

Nikki  

  • Status: Member
  • Wise Ass
  • Female/Philippines
  • Offline for 2d 1h 12m 36s
  • Deviant since Mar 30, 2005, 7:22 AM
  • 104 Deviations
  • 1 Scrap [browse]
  • 93 Deviation Comments
  • 70 Deviant Comments
  • 1,642 Pageviews

Be careful what you make your children do.

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 26, 2008, 1:30 AM
I don't get it. I'm not out making babies or running off getting married. I don't even have a boyfriend. I drink, yes, but I'm always home for curfew even if I'm coming from a party in Katipunan and I'm never ever home drunk. I don't drive drunk. I don't even drink in between classes. I'm not a drug addict. I'm not a party animal, if people even really use that term. And I'm in church every Sunday even though sometimes it feels like I'm forced to because it's been completely forgotten that church is supposed to be a personal choice, and they never even stopped to consider if I want to.

I've been working my butt off recently to try and balance my studies and my extra curriculars. I study in between rehearsals, I spend hundreds of pesos on readings and I've been in national so much these days, the sight of red plastic makes me cringe and hold on to my wallet. My planner is organized. I don't cut class anymore. I work myself to the max even in fucking volleyball. I even try to listen in fucking SCI 10.

I'm not doing anything wrong. Instead of doing all those things, I'm in a play. A short and beautiful play. A play that I and four other people worked hard to create and make into what it is now. I put on a costume, put on some make up, get up on stage and tell people a story.

They love us, you know, all of us. They laugh, they cry, they cringe, they think about life and love. They feel alive, and we were the ones who did that. We made people feel, be it good or bad. Above all praises, that is what will make me feel the most rewarded, to know that we made people feel.

For the first time since college started, I'm doing something I really, really love. This makes me feel alive, and I don't know how I can make my mom see that. I learned long before that, while this doesn't give us the right to completely disregard them, grades don't make or break anyone. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life worrying about grades. I'm exhausted, yes, but it's the greatest type of exhaustion. The type where you know you're exhausted because you worked hard to create something beautiful.

It's unfair that I don't get to do something that I love because of how far away I live from my school. It's unfair that I have to keep watching other people up in lights while I sit in the audience wishing I could be up there with them. It's unfair that I'm not allowed to feel exhausted for anything else other than academics. And it's completely unfair that I can't be happy for three great shows because I know that it’s possible that I can never have anything like this again. It’s unfair, mom. I wish I could make you see that.

  • Mood: Daily Needs

Devious Information

  • Current Age: nineteen year old brat
  • Current Residence: up there somewhere
  • Interests: interesting things
  • Favourite movie: interstate 60, wild hearts can't be broken
  • Favourite band or musician: motion city, most serene republic, bloc party, clap your hands say yeah, ok! go, updharmadown
  • Favourite genre of music: rak en rol
  • Favourite artist: vincent van gogh, frida kahlo
  • Favourite poet or writer: paolo coelho, sophie kinsella
  • Operating System: windows vista
  • MP3 player of choice: real player?
  • Favourite game: sims 2 hehehe
  • Favourite gaming platform: Wii!
  • Favourite cartoon character: the simpsons!
  • Personal Quote: behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • Tools of the Trade: i heart canon cameras.

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~Souldat:iconSouldat: 11 hours 5 minutes ago
Hey freak, I knew you'd have one of these. I thought it was the mischievous-something account that was like ancient old, but this one looks pretty aged as well.

I digress. +Frriend! :heart:
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Jun 11, 2008, 6:17:01 AM
hahahaha! go to my profile then press the add friend button? :))

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There's only one way to find out!
~toootsieroll:icontoootsieroll: Jun 9, 2008, 6:28:50 AM
NIKKI!! hahaha.


how do i add your LJ? i can't find it im blind

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well,aren't we all just a ray of f*cking sunshine.
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: May 2, 2008, 8:20:05 AM
Hi Mykee! I looked at your gallery ah, great stuff! I haven't been shooting anything great it being summer and all and I have become a professional bum. But dude! We should have some sort of shoot. I have two other friends who want na, plus someone to make PD. You game? :)

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There's only one way to find out!
~chasingdaylight:iconchasingdaylight: Apr 26, 2008, 5:56:35 AM
hey nikki! whats up? :) -mykee
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Apr 24, 2008, 10:39:08 AM
wow thanks! kiss on the cheek for you! :* hahaha

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There's only one way to find out!
~daneblaster:icondaneblaster: Apr 18, 2008, 1:52:59 PM
:ahoy:

Your gallery is WONDERFUL!

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hey! yer wrinklin' mah good luck ban-DAN-a!
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Jan 17, 2008, 5:59:03 AM
No problem :)

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There's only one way to find out!
~abandoned-echoes:iconabandoned-echoes: Jan 16, 2008, 7:43:46 PM
thanks for the fave! :)

--
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone,
but they've always worked for me.
- Hunter S. Thompson
=Rempstaar:iconRempstaar: Dec 28, 2007, 12:53:14 PM
np :)

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"Mr. Wizard! Get me the hell out of here!"Neo
Rempstaar
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Dec 28, 2007, 12:39:16 PM Mood: Love
Aww that's sweet, thanks! :)

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There's only one way to find out!
=Rempstaar:iconRempstaar: Dec 23, 2007, 11:10:42 AM
Hey :wave:

I've featured Your work in my journal [link]


Merry christmas :santa:

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"Mr. Wizard! Get me the hell out of here!"Neo
Rempstaar
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Oct 26, 2007, 11:10:38 AM
Hello bebe! I love the poem in your sig. <3

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There's only one way to find out!
~saintmary:iconsaintmary: Oct 26, 2007, 9:34:02 AM
It's the Nikki girl. I love you :heart: PIN

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I thought to pick
the flower of forgetting
for myself,
but I found it
already growing in his heart.

By Ono No Komachi
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Sep 16, 2007, 9:30:11 PM
Hahahahahaha RANDOMMM :b0x0rz:

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There's only one way to find out!
~divine5intervention:icondivine5intervention: Sep 16, 2007, 12:01:50 PM
This is for youuu :sunnysideup:

:D

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so much space we aren't filling up
because we haven't learned to fly
~aniabeata:iconaniabeata: Sep 4, 2007, 6:47:00 AM
:hug: thank you

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visit my gallery:

photography: [link]
Magic Eye effect - stereogram 3D: [link]
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Sep 4, 2007, 6:14:14 AM
i loved your work! :D

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There's only one way to find out!
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Sep 4, 2007, 6:13:23 AM
hello hot stuff! :D

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There's only one way to find out!
~cubancigar:iconcubancigar: Sep 4, 2007, 5:03:56 AM
hi baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

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excuse me while i, kiss the sky
~aniabeata:iconaniabeata: Sep 4, 2007, 1:07:35 AM
Thank you so much for the fav :hug:

--
visit my gallery:

photography: [link]
Magic Eye effect - stereogram 3D: [link]
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Jun 12, 2007, 4:32:49 AM
no problem, i love what you made! :D

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time's up.
~greef:icongreef: Jun 8, 2007, 1:12:24 AM
Thank you Nikki, for the favs! I appreciate it very very much! :D :hug:

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d[*_*]b

[link]
~nixxxxxx:iconnixxxxxx: Nov 30, 2006, 7:35:30 AM
Hafayv! :D

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time's up.
~marben:iconmarben: Nov 29, 2006, 6:43:23 AM Mood: Zest
Nikki! High fives for deviantArt!

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peace.love.empathy